Flexible Boundaries, Faith, and Finding Yourself Again with Dane Aziz

Welcome back to another episode of Coffee with M and J with your hosts Mandy and Jaime, who are joined by their first returning guest, entrepreneur, and community builder, Dane Aziz. Dane's first appearance was the most viewed and listened-to guest podcast episode to date.

While the original intention was to discuss mental health and the holidays, the conversation takes a deep dive, covering Dane’s personal growth journey, his struggles with loneliness during a difficult holiday season, and the critical differences between curiosity and interest. The co-hosts and Dane discuss how to find safe spaces for vulnerability, especially for men, the concept of "Godfidence", and the importance of having flexible boundaries.

Key Takeaways:

• Distinguishing Curiosity from Interest Curiosity is described as a one-moment-in-time spark of wanting to know something. In contrast, interest is a long-term connection, where someone genuinely wants to know you, continuing to ask questions and listen without an agenda.
• Mental Health in the Darkest Moments Loneliness and dark thoughts can arise, particularly around the holidays. The darkest moments can serve as the beginning of a powerful testimony. Remember that a dark period is a moment, not your whole story.
• The Importance of Action and Accountability Taking accountability for your actions and choosing to control your feelings and responses is crucial for growth. A growth mindset allows you to see adversity as a blessing and a learning opportunity, instead of adopting a victim mindset.
• Finding Support and Safety It is critical to find people who are "humble" and willing to be "held accountable". When in a dark place, reach out to trusted support systems. Men can find safe spaces in Christian-based men's groups, veterans groups, or by finding commonality in shared experiences or hobbies.
• Self-Love and Boundaries It's essential to protect your heart and realize that you cannot genuinely love others until you love yourself. Genuine love means sitting with a person through their mess—their crying, raging, or processing—without trying to fix them. Kind people have boundaries and self-control, and it is acceptable to step up and say, "No, this is not acceptable".